For the nth time in a couple of weeks, my mind seems to have stopped working. Words that easily found their way into paper are nowhere to be found. Inspiration, which always seemed to be at hand, has eluded me. And feelings, which were once under control, have continued to ravage me.
Just when I thought things are finally going well, here come my doubts to send me into a downward spiral, again.
Guilt, among other things, has left me paralyzed. I’m scared of my own ghosts – the skeletons that I have hidden in my closet for too long. They’re coming for me, I can feel it. And I can’t do anything to stop it.
Maybe this is what I deserve, for hurting and torturing all those innocent people. They’ve given me nothing but love but in return, I’ve only caused them pain.
If there is a way towards healing, I’m afraid I still haven’t seen it. Although I hope I can get there soon, before…
“I told myself that I wouldn’t be scared. But I’m still having nightmares.”